Monday, December 22, 2014

How the Grinch Stole Obamacare (2014 version)

On December 23, 2009, the day before the United States Senate passed its version of what later became known as Obamacare,  I posted a rhyme comparing the debate to Dr. Seuss’ famous tale about the Grinch who (tried) to steal Christmas, with the GOP in the role of the “Grinch” and Obamacare playing the part of Christmas.  Here’s my updated version—all intended to be in good (non-partisan) fun!

Every Dem
In the Congress
Liked Obamacare, a lot ...

But the GOP
Who sat to their right,
Did NOT!

The GOP hated ObamaCare! (Some called it treason)!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their base is far to the right.
It could be, perhaps, that money is tight,
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Is Republicans like their government, small.

Whatever the reason,
Their base or their views,
They stood there on Christmas Eve, hating it all,
Staring down with a sour, disapproving frown
They vowed that next year, they’d bring it all down.

"We’ll control the House, and the Senate!" they snarled with a sneer.
"Our chance for repeal is coming! It's practically here!"
Then they growled, with their fingers nervously drumming,
And said, “Obamacare’s demise is finally coming!"
For, in 2015, they knew...

...They would finally be freed
Of having to get things past old Harry Reid,
With Mitch in charge, they’d slay the Obamacare beast.
And then they'd feast! And they'd feast!
Because “socialized” medicine, you know, they can’t stand in the least!

And the more they thought of finally prevailing,
They started to worry, about possibly failing.
Obama can veto our plans, strike them all down
We can’t let him let him stop repeal from coming!
... But HOW?"

Then they got an idea!
An awful idea!

"We know just what to do!" They laughed in their throat.
“We just need the Supremes to strike it down, on a 5 to 4 vote!"
And they chuckled, and clucked, "What a great GOP fix!
We'll sue Obama and let the court do the trick!

"We’ll say that Congress never planned for the subsidies to apply,
In the GOP states that want Obamacare defied,
Who cares about the facts, or legislative intent?
As long as we can persuade five judges to relent
And strike the subsidies down, for better or worse,
We can get it tossed out, chapter and verse.

"Pooh-pooh to Obama!" they were heard to be humming.
"By June he’ll find that the end is finally coming!
When the court rules against him! We know just what he’ll do!
His mouth will stay open a minute or two
And Barack Obama will cry BOO-HOO!

"That's a noise," grinned the GOP,
"That we simply must hear!"
So they paused. And the GOP put a hand to their ears.

And they did hear a sound rising over DC town.
It started out low, and then got quite loud,
But the sound they heard from the White House wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

They stared down at the Washington Post headline
And the GOP popped their eyes!
Then they shook! And they shook,
What it said was such a surprise!

On a five to 4 vote, the Roberts Court
Again upheld Obamacare, made their case naught,
They HADN’T stopped ObamaCare from coming!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the GOP, even with all of the Koch brothers’ dough,
Kept puzzling and puzzling: How could it be so?
Obamacare came despite our winning the midterm election!
It came though the pundits said it was an Obamacare rejection!
It came even despite the demands of Senator Cruz,
It came despite the ranting by our friends at Fox News,
They puzzled three hours, ‘till their puzzler was sore.
Then they thought of something they hadn’t before!
“Maybe ObamaCare,” they thought, “means something more.
Maybe it really is about getting healthcare to the millions of poor.”

And what happened then…?
Well … in Washington they say
That the GOP took heart
And vowed to fight on anyway!
“We can still kill the law, if we just do it right,
We’ll do it in through reconciliation, we’ll continue this fight
As we promised the Tea Party, who like Obama the least
Won’t rest until we carve up the ObamaCare beast!”

Of course, one part of my rhyme--the Supreme Court upholding Obamacare’s premium subsidies--assumes that this will be the outcome of case that the court has agreed to hear, challenging the legality of the subsidies in the 36 states that opted to let the federal government run their health insurance exchange.  In fact, we really won’t know the outcome until the Court issues its ruling (likely in June, 2015).  Let’s hope that the Supreme Court upholds the subsidies—because if they don’t, millions of Americans would lose their health insurance coverage.  And that would truly be a reason to cry Boo-Hoo!

Today’s question:  No question, just my best wishes to you for a happy holiday season and prosperous and healthy New Year.  (P.S., This will be my final blog post of 2014, will be back in early 2015).


ryanjo said...

Happy Grinchmas to all, and to all a good right.

Harrison said...

Happy Christmas to all!

Unknown said...

In the spirit of bipartisanship

A Visit from St. Nick
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the House Dems with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The liberals were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of new taxes danced in their heads;
And Michelle in her 'kerchief, and Barack in his cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter's nap
When out on their lawn there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their bed to see if the Secret Service knew what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a luster of midday to objects below,
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
But, their beliefs would not let them identify him as Catholic St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Pelosi! now, Reid now Schumer and Valerie!
On, Billy! On, Hillary! On, Gruber and Sharpton!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the Dems they flew
With the sleigh full of taxes, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As they drew in their heads, and were turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of tax goodies he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a political peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And they laughed when they saw him, in spite of themselves,
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave them to know they had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all their stockings with democratic pork; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he arose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But they heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all and to all more taxes tonight!”

Bob Doherty said...

Love it! Thanks!