Tuesday, December 22, 2015

How the Grinch Stole Obamacare (2015 update)

Last year at this time—in keeping with this blog’s holiday tradition—I wrote about how the GOP, cast in the role of the Grinch, tried again to stop Obamacare from coming, counting on the Supreme Court to overturn the law.  I predicted then, maybe with more hope than confidence, that the Supreme Court would disappoint the Grinch, by upholding the Obamacare subsidies on a 5-4 vote.

 It turns out I was wrong—the Court, as we now all know, upheld the subsidies and the law on a 6-3 vote!  That doesn’t of course mean that the anti-Obamacare forces will desist in their efforts.  So here’s the 2015 updated version—all intended to be in good (non-partisan) fun!

Every Dem
In the Congress
Liked Obamacare, a lot ...

But the GOP
Who sat to their right,
Did NOT!

The GOP hated ObamaCare! (Some called it treason)!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their base is far to the right.
It could be, perhaps, that money is tight,
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Is Republicans like their government, small.

Whatever the reason,
Their base or their views,
They stood there on Christmas Eve, hating it all,
Staring down with a sour, disapproving frown
Because they’d been so sure that in 2015, they’d bring it all down.

"We control the House, and the Senate!" they had said with a sneer.
“Our chance for repeal is coming! It's practically here!"
They growled, with their fingers nervously drumming,
And told the Tea Party, “Obamacare’s demise is finally coming!"

For, in 2015, they knew...

...They were finally freed
Of having to get things past old Harry Reid,
With Mitch in charge, they’d slay the Obamacare beast.
And then they'd feast! And they'd feast!
Because “socialized” medicine, you know, they can’t stand in the least!

And the more they thought of finally prevailing,
They started to worry, about possibly failing.
Obama can veto our plans, strike them all down
We can’t let him stop repeal from coming!
... But HOW?"

Then they got an idea!
An awful idea!

"We know just what to do!" They laughed in their throat.
“We just need the Supremes to strike it down, on a 5 to 4 vote!"
And they chuckled, and clucked, "What a great GOP fix!
We'll sue Obama and let the court do the trick!

"We’ll say that Congress never planned for the subsidies to apply,
In the GOP states that want Obamacare defied,
Who cares about the facts, or legislative intent?
As long as we can persuade five judges to relent
And strike the subsidies down, for better or worse,
We can get it tossed out, chapter and verse.

"Pooh-pooh to Obama!" they were heard to be humming.
"Soon he’ll find that the end is finally coming!
When the court rules against him! We know just what he’ll do!
His mouth will stay open a minute or two
And Barack Obama will cry BOO-HOO!

"That's a noise," grinned the GOP,
"That we simply must hear!"
So they paused. And the GOP put a hand to their ears.

And in June they did hear a sound rising over DC town.
It started out low, and then got quite loud,
But the sound they heard from the White House wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

They stared down at the Washington Post headline
And the GOP popped their eyes!
Then they shook! And they shook,
What it said was such a surprise!

On a 6-3 vote, the Roberts Court
had again upheld Obamacare, made their case naught,
In 2015, they HADN’T stopped ObamaCare from coming!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the GOP, even with all of the Koch brothers’ dough,
Kept puzzling and puzzling: How could it be so?
Obamacare came despite our winning the midterm election!
It came though the pundits said it was an Obamacare rejection!
It came even despite the demands of Senator Cruz,
It came despite the ranting by our friends at Fox News,
They puzzled three hours, ‘till their puzzler was sore.
Then they thought of something they hadn’t before!
“Maybe ObamaCare,” they thought, “means something more.
Maybe it really is about getting healthcare to the millions of poor.”

And what happened then…?
Well … in Washington they say
That the GOP took heart
And vowed to fight on anyway!
“We can still kill the law, if we win the White House
Obamacare’s rejection
Will come from the 2016 election!
…and then, WE OURSELVES …!
Will feast, feast and feast!
As we finally carve up the Obamacare beast.”

Happy holidays to all, and my best wishes to you and your loved ones for a healthy, safe, and prosperous New Year!

1 comment :

Harrison said...

Merry Christmas Bob.
I think for next year we should all resolve to find you a new Christmas or Holiday themed poem to play off of.
The Grinch and the Night Before Christmas are getting old.
And don't even think of a play on the twelve days of Christmas, because we will all send you nasty comments for the rest of the following year if you put that tune in our heads!!!